This is my third attempt at trying to write this post this evening. I have in that time watched a film the whole way through and now find myself watching An Idiot Abroad, I would love to call it procrastination yet I just couldn't find a way to get my thoughts down into words.
I wanted to open up A Little Boat Sailing today and dig deep; I felt the need to put beauty to one side in order to have a little heart to heart, or at least as much as one can do over the internet. My reason for this is that it's rare that I open up my blog to more than just beauty and fashion, although the latter has felt in somewhat short supply since this year started. Aside from wanting to shake things up a little I also wanted to share with you as to why I blog and why I keep on coming back over three years on.
This all stemmed from having what can only be described as a hectic few months to say the least. As many of you may know I went back to education in October and embarked on a law conversion course. It has been tough, in fact it has been harder than I ever imagined, especially when juggling two jobs, exam preparation and of course my blog here. The last two months in particular have been the most emotionally and physically draining that I have ever encountered and yet somehow I have almost made it out of the other side, albeit needing what feels like a really long nap.
My blog as you know is a hobby of mine, oh how I have dreamt of making it more than that yet I do realise that I have to be truthful and more importantly realistic too; this does not pay the bills and most likely never will. I know that I have put more time into this than I should have done in the past, especially when other things are technically more important. This therefore brings me to the question as to why I keep on coming back. Why do I continue to promote my blog daily and engage with others constantly as well as taking on more and more things when, quite frankly I'm exhausted. The answer to these questions I found was split into two, firstly, it is quite simply because I love blogging, I love creating new content and sharing it with others and having a good old traditional mothers meeting about it. My second reason is that blogging has in a way been something that I have discovered all by myself. I wasn't influenced as such when I created this blog as I just wasn't aware of what beauty blogging was, PR, SEO and everything else was completely alien to me. It was sheer chance that I stumbled across this concept yet it has been something which I have worked incredibly hard at and more importantly it has been something that I have wanted to work hard and have being doing so now for over three years.
There is not a day which goes by when I'm not doing something for my blog here, whether that's replying to comments, taking pictures for my next post or simply chatting to other bloggers and reading their blogs; there's always so much more that blogging entails than what you see initially see on the surface. I think that is why so many of us bloggers at times feel as though we hit a wall, that point where we think that we just can't do this anymore which calls for us to take a break and re-evaluate. I've thought this several times in the past and yet so far I've never actually managed to do it, I just can't pull myself away; maybe that is good or maybe that is bad.
Whilst my blog is not old I can't really argue that it is one of the youngest out there either, yet I've seen bloggers who have in a shorter space of time grown to reach huge audiences and achieve milestones that I could only ever dream of. This has on more than one occasion made me question what I'm doing, what am I missing? Do I not write well, are my pictures mediocre, I've even at times questioned my own physical appearance. Writing that last bit makes me realise just how daft that is yet I'd be lying if I didn't put it down, this is after all my blog where I'm probably the most open and most vulnerable too, yet I guess that last bit is purely because of how much it means to me. At times I have felt very frustrated, I feel like I give it my all but that's just not good enough. What am I looking for is the question I ask myself and if I'm honest I'm not entirely sure. Do I want thousands and thousands of followers? Maybe, but that's only if they actually like my blog and enjoy reading what I have to say, if they never click back on it again after following then what really was the point?
Before I started my course I would have said I was a good blogger, not in terms of writing and sorting out my own blog but in terms of reading other blogs and actually making an effort to leave comments. I used to look back on my Disqus profile and be shocked at just how many comments I had made, yet I don't feel bad about that any more. Comments mean a lot to me as I'm sure they do to you, they are after all one of the only ways we find out what readers think of our posts therefore they are extremely important. I know deep down that I have always been supportive in this way although I'll admit that in recent months I have struggled to stay on top of this; in my defence though I have been very, very busy. I'm really looking forward to reading blogs properly again once my last exam is over on Monday, I have missed it a lot! Blogging to me doesn't just involve my own blog, I think blogging as a whole involves reading other blogs, getting to know fellow bloggers and offering friendships and support because I know that if I didn't have people reading my blog or there wasn't somebody to talk to about it when I needed to then I most likely wouldn't enjoy it half as much as I do today.
I feel as though I've lost my train of thought with this, it is not very often I sit down to write these posts because of that very reason, I tend to lose my way very quickly as I find that I suddenly have so much that I want to say. In a nutshell I blog because it is something I enjoy, it is incredibly cliché to say that yet it is true. It has given me more enjoyment than I could have ever imagined and has allowed me to gain confidence in myself and to meet new people. There are some incredible people within this blogging community that I feel very blessed to be part of, of course it has its ups and downs yet on a whole it is amazing.
So now you've read my long winded way of saying 'I love it', let me ask you this, why do you blog?