I have never been a religious person, at least not in the respect of attending church and following traditional views. However, there have been several occasions in my life where I have found myself saying a silent prayer to 'God', whoever he or she is. Of course that would suggest that God is indeed a person, in which the notion is of course impossible (to me), although that is a whole different type of blog post entirely; one of which I am not willing to get into any time soon.
That being said, in times of crisis, sadness or even loneliness, I have often made a silent wish to God for it to somehow work out, for things to simply be better. I am probably not alone in this respect; I am sure many of us do this at those times in our life; we just don't speak about it. For me though, I feel as though I wanted to write about something incredibly close to my heart, something which I have experienced on more than one occasion. Today I wanted to touch upon the subject of losing a friend, or, in my case friends. I am not merely talking about friendships that grow apart, unfortunately I am referring to friends who have sadly been taken away from us too soon.
My three friends were incredible, they were beautiful, fun loving and full of life. To me they still are incredible in every single way, as despite them not being here anymore my memories of them continue to live on. A simple song will make me think of them, The Scientist by Coldplay is a song I will always associate with one person and one person only. A memory of high school graphics class and end of year photos of us makes me both happy and incredibly sad, and of course there was university ecology class which was always a bit of a laugh.
Losing anybody in your life is incredibly difficult, it takes time, grieving and many tears and of course laughter too, as despite the sadness there will always be good memories to get you through. In all three circumstances my friends have been taken away very suddenly, they were all incredibly young and they had their whole lives ahead of them. They would have been awesome, simply awesome.
It is hard to put into words what I truly wanted to say within this post. I had a plan in my head before I sat down to write it and yet when it came to it I found it more difficult than I had imagined. Despite the rawness of this no longer being present, it still makes me feel incredibly sad to think about it. One of my friends would have turned 28 two weeks ago, and yet I can still remember him chasing his dog up the street and us playing kerby of an evening out on the path as if it was yesterday. Do kids these days even play kerby? I miss you C.
A class joker, yet one of the nicest kids I had ever known, gosh he used to make us all laugh. I miss that big grin and the banter that came with it. School was truly a blast with you as a friend, especially Graphics class. I miss you L.
Then there is the beautiful lady on both the inside and out, your smile was infectious and your friendship worth more than you know. I miss you V.
The circumstances in which my friends were taken will never be easy to accept. I miss them dearly and would give anything to have one more day with each of them, to have just one more game of kerby, which by the way I would probably lose as he always beat me, however I'd be happy to let him this time around. I would want to talk and ask why?
I guess this brings me to the somewhat cliche notion of always telling people how you feel. I am a firm believer in this, because I know people can be taken away from you without warning. I think this is partly why I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, loss is a powerful thing and can often make you more protective of those who mean the most to you. Make sure you never say goodbye on a bad word and always be kind to others because trust me, you never know how they are feeling inside. Us human beings can be masters at hiding our true feelings when we want to be. If you have good friends then look after them, they are not easy to come by. Furthermore, and most importantly, if you love someone tell them, no matter what the consequence.